Hooray it’s sunny! To celebrate this lovely spell of warm weather I have compiled a list of the best and worst things you can do in London on a summer’s day.
BEST – Beer gardens and roof terraces
What could be finer than a gorgeous day, an ice cold pint and a picnic bench outside one of London’s pubs? I find that instead of being high on drink or drugs, everyone’s is naturally high on the unexpected fresh air and oxygen hitting their London-tainted lungs. Highly recommended is taking endless selfies and checking yourself in on Facebook to prove your skin does actually get more than an hour of sunlight a year.
WORST – At work
Some London offices are light and airy with big windows and lovely, cooling air con. Other offices are small and stuffy with no air conditioning and only one fan… that unofficially belongs to the pregnant lady who sits furthest away from you… and even if there was another fan you wouldn’t be able to use it as the man sitting next to you has a problem with his nose and using a fan is simply out of the question. You can guess which kind of office I work in.
BEST – The park
London’s parks really do have something for everyone. Regents Park has beautiful botanical gardens, Hyde Park is perfect for budding rollerbladers, Richmond Park is huge and great for cyclists and London Fields is the place to be for anyone who likes to pose.
WORST – The tube
Particularly bad is the Central Line which turns into a cloying, stinky, sauna of a sweat box in summer. People have BO, they get twitchy and argue and somebody usually faints. The whole line gets held up, people sweat, they get twitchy and argue, somebody else faints. The line gets held up even more. I often think if there is a hell on Earth it exists on London’s Central Line in the heat. The absolute pits.
BEST – Outdoor cinemas
I love it when popup screens appear all over London in the summer. I had a date with a rich banker once and we went to see a confusing Mike Leigh film on a big screen in Hyde Park. He had bought us a picnic from M&S along with two bottles of champagne. This massively impressed me as I didn’t know anyone at the time who could afford food from M&S. I didn’t understand the film but I really enjoyed drinking the champagne and I believe I had the majority of it. When it was time to leave I stood up, brushed myself down and promptly fell over. It was too hard to get up again so I lay on the ground giggling. He didn’t call me again.
WORST – Oxford Street
In fact, discard my previous comment about the Central Line being hell on Earth. If you want to experience the truest, deepest, darkest depths of hell, queue for the changing rooms and tills at Primark on Oxford Street at 3pm on a sunny Saturday afternoon. The same goes for the whole of Westfield Stratford. Bleurgh.
BEST – dancing outside
I think my absolute favourite thing in the world to do (with clothes on) is to dance outside to great music as the sun sets. London is brilliant for putting on outdoor concerts and festivals. There is The Proms if you are into classical and all sorts of dance stuff like Wireless and South West Four if you are into getting wrecked and having a good time. My absolute favourite was Blur in Hyde park five years ago. The very definition of happiness is surely being tipsy on cider and jumping around to the dulcet tones of Damon Albarn?
WORST – Underneath the Walkie Talkie
There’s a new building near my work called ‘The Walkie Talkie’. One entire wall is glass, shaped like a concave mirror.
Any of you with psychopath tendencies, who did this as a kid, can imagine what happened to anything underneath the building
For those of you who aren’t psychopaths, the shape of the building generates so much heat you can fry an egg under it. Just like this journalist did:
And last summer it got so hot, it melted this car.