You know the ones. They stand around in pairs wearing tabards and carrying clipboards and accost you while you are walking down the street minding your own business.

Chuggers in action

I know that the street fundraisers, aka charity muggers “chuggers” are ultimately there for a good cause, even if they are commision-based rather than volunteers.

Charitable or not they are really freakin’ annoying and don’t take no for an answer. I wouldn’t mind so much if they accepted a polite “no thank you” but their tactics have become much too aggressive and they practically chase you along the road.

Ideally you have your head down, ipod on, mobile phone clipped to your ear, make sure you cross the road to avoid them, break into a sprint and DO NOT make eye contact. Ultimately one or two will still manage to catch you though.

These four tried and tested methods really do make most of them fuck off.

Chugger: Hi there what’s your name?

Me: I am not over 18 and it is illegal to try and get me to donate. You could get into serious trouble

(Even if you look 45, who are they to argue?).

Chugger: Hello there how are you?

Me: Oh hi! I work for (insert name of charity). Thank you so much and keep up the good work!

(This was actually true when I worked for Marie Curie Cancer Care and was so successful that I re-used it)

Chugger: Hello do you have a minute?

Me: (clutching hand to my mouth) get out of my way I am going to be sick

Chugger: Hi Madam can I trouble you for a moment?

Me: I am dreadfully sorry but my wife is in labour and I really can’t stop

Unfortunately, even these methods don’t discourage some of the keener chuggers. If you have any other suggestions please do comment.